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What made me interested in creating gay bondage art?I have been attracted to bondage and sm (sado masochism, or s/m) pretty much all my life. Basically three circumstances triggered these desires: being raised within the Catholic Church, watching male bondage and torture scenes in mainstream movies, and reading Greek and Roman mythology stories. Since I grew up in a very conservative Catholic household and went to a private Catholic elementary school and high school in Puerto Rico, I was exposed since a very early age to many stories about Catholic Saints. In many circumstances, they were tortured and killed for their faith. It didn't take long for me to eroticise these stories. The fact that the Catholic Church emphasizes sin and guilt so much into its followers definitely made these feelings deeper. I started feeling that I was not worthy of God and that I deserved to be tortured and killed for my sins. All the male bondage and torture scenes I saw in movies when I was little also "fed" my imagination. I remember especially my father taking me to a movie theater to watch the 1956 movie "The Ten Commandments." I'm sure he did it because he wanted me to learn more about the Bible and about how Christianity and Judaism originated. However, of the entire movie, the only scene that stayed in my mind was when Joshua (John Derek) was tied up to two columns and whipped by an Egyptian guard. Finally, I enjoyed reading the stories about the heroes portrayed in classical mythology, primarily because of how the men who disobeyed the gods were tortured. I especially liked the story of Prometheus, and how he was chained to a mountain, and an eagle ate his liver every day (it grew back by the next day). Eventually I starting developing my own fantasies. For example, I now like to believe that if God ever sent me to hell he would put me in bed next to a gorgeous and hairy man. And every time I reached out to touch him, he would disappear. He would then appear again after when I withdrew my hand. Now that's a creative torture! :-) My drawings are a way for me to express my feelings about male bondage, sm, and torture. I actually started doing these drawings when I was 12 years old. I didn't know why I did it, or that there were other people as "perverted" as me who did the same. A few months later, however, my father gave me a book about Catholic morality. When I read it, I thought I was going to hell because of that. So I destroyed all my drawings and went to confession. I left the confessional crying. Since then, I didn't dare to make any more drawings with these themes until recently. |